I’m sadder than socks with a singular hole. I’m glummer than glub-glub who swallowed a coal. For Rosaline-Winifred-Who doesn’t care! She looked at my heart and said, “Nope! Not in there!” MERCUTIO-GOOSE (popping up, doing a flip): Oh, piffle! Oh, poppycock! Snickle-snack-snooze! You’re rhyming with gloom in your oversized shoes! Let’s sneak to the party! Let’s bounce on a chair! Let’s dance till our toenails grow curly green hair! (SCENE TWO: The Party, which looks like a blender threw up confetti.)
What is this nonsense? This rhyme-ridden mess? This Dr.-Seuss-ified tragic distress? Two kids from two families, dead on the floor Because of a squabble about who slammed a door? CAPULET (crying): I’m sorry, Montague! You’re not such a creep! MONTAGUE (crying more): You too, Capulet! Let’s hug and not weep! PRINCE TRUFFULA (shaking his head): A pox on both houses! A sneetch on each snoot! Next time, just use your words. Or a hula-hoop. For this is the lesson, as tall as a tree: Don’t fall in love at a loud, crazy party. (CURTAIN. A small mouse in a wig bows. Applause.) the seussification of romeo and juliet script
THE SEUSSIFICATION OF ROMEO AND JULIET