Mature Mom Access

They don’t tell you this when you’re young and holding a positive pregnancy test with trembling hands.

I look at younger moms at the playground and feel a flicker of something—not jealousy, exactly. More like… nostalgia for a future I won't have. I won't get 40 years of knowing my adult child. I might only get 20 or 30. mature mom

When you become a mother later, you already know who you are. You have already fought your demons. You have already built a self that you (mostly) like. And now, you get to invite a child into that whole house, not a construction zone. They don’t tell you this when you’re young

But I am here . Fully, fiercely, gratefully here. I won't get 40 years of knowing my adult child

So when my toddler wakes up at 3 AM for the fourth time this week, I don't spiral. I don't cry in the shower wondering where my youth went. I just sigh, pour a coffee that will inevitably go cold, and rock them back to sleep.

While my peers are posting photos of their empty nests, beach vacations, and grandchildren, I am relearning the alphabet. While they are discussing retirement portfolios, I am negotiating with a tiny human about why we don’t eat Play-Doh.

So yes, I am tired. I am slower. I don’t understand TikTok. My back hurts.