For three hours.
So here I am, writing this on the back of a grocery receipt, because the Hum doesn't like the sound of keyboard clicks— too many variables, too many possible patterns . I am not asking for help. Help would require explaining that the problem isn't the shakers, or the rug, or the crumb from this morning (which I finally swept up, then put back, then swept again, just to feel the relief of a decision, even a wrong one).
The problem is that the Hum is quiet now. And I know—I know —that means it's saving up. Tomorrow, it might decide that the shadows on the wall are wrong. That the light switch needs to be flipped exactly seventeen times before bed. That the word enough has one too many letters. a kind of madness dthrip
That is the kind of madness I mean: the kind that looks like diligence. The kind that wears a collared shirt and pays its bills on time and never misses a dental appointment. The kind that smiles at the pharmacist and says, "Just the usual," while inside, a tiny, furious god is rearranging the vowels in the word refrigerator to see if it spells anything ominous.
The rug has no wrinkles. I checked. Twice. For three hours
It doesn't. I checked.
The madness is that I will spend the next hour trying to figure out which one to remove. Help would require explaining that the problem isn't
And then I'll put it back.
For three hours.
So here I am, writing this on the back of a grocery receipt, because the Hum doesn't like the sound of keyboard clicks— too many variables, too many possible patterns . I am not asking for help. Help would require explaining that the problem isn't the shakers, or the rug, or the crumb from this morning (which I finally swept up, then put back, then swept again, just to feel the relief of a decision, even a wrong one).
The problem is that the Hum is quiet now. And I know—I know —that means it's saving up. Tomorrow, it might decide that the shadows on the wall are wrong. That the light switch needs to be flipped exactly seventeen times before bed. That the word enough has one too many letters.
That is the kind of madness I mean: the kind that looks like diligence. The kind that wears a collared shirt and pays its bills on time and never misses a dental appointment. The kind that smiles at the pharmacist and says, "Just the usual," while inside, a tiny, furious god is rearranging the vowels in the word refrigerator to see if it spells anything ominous.
The rug has no wrinkles. I checked. Twice.
It doesn't. I checked.
The madness is that I will spend the next hour trying to figure out which one to remove.
And then I'll put it back.
