99 Papers Reviews ((full)) -

By Paper #012, the sentences became two. By Paper #027, he stopped reading the abstracts first. He just scanned the equations. If the math looked clean, he gave a 7. If the LaTeX was broken, he gave a 4.

He copied the paper’s abstract into Erasmus. He typed: “Write a review. Score: 5. Tone: Dismissive but plausible.” 99 papers reviews

He created a spreadsheet: ID, Title, First Author, Score (1-10), Comment. He opened Paper #001: “A Novel Bayesian Approach to Semantic Role Labeling in Low-Resource Languages.” It was fine. Derivative, but fine. He gave it a 6. He wrote three thoughtful sentences of feedback. By Paper #012, the sentences became two

Tonight, his inbox was a tombstone.

The annual meeting of the Association for Computational Logic had imploded. Three senior program chairs had resigned in a scandal involving data manipulation and a poorly-worded tweet. The new chair, a desperate young professor named Elara, had sent a mass email to every senior researcher left standing. If the math looked clean, he gave a 7